Best Boomer Towns Columns

What’s Next Boomer Business Summit April 29, 2011 San Francisco

There are 78 Million Baby Boomers in the U.S. spending $2 Trillion annually and control 77% of the wealth, attend the summit to learn how to get your share of wallet.

Featured Speakers

Michelle Bauer, Founder and Chief Strategist, Common Language
Scott Bennett, National Vice President of Marketing, American Cancer Society
Elisa Camahort Page, Co-Founder & COO, BlogHer
Michael Carroll, Vice President, Marketing, United Healthcare Medicare Solutions
Andy Cohen, CEO and Co-Founder, Caring.com
R. Scott Collins, President & CEO, Senior Resources Alliance
Mara DelliPriscoli, President, Travel Learning Connections, Inc.
Marilyn Ditty, Executive Director, South County Senior Services, Inc.
Mary Furlong, CEO, Mary Fulrong & Associates
Jane Glenn Haas, Founder, WomanSage
Mark Graham, SVP, ivillage.com, an NBC Universal Company
Jeff Hasen, Chief Marketing Officer, Hipcricket
Lyn Jeffery, Cultural Anthropologist
Mollie Katzen, Best-Selling Author
Susy Korb, President, OMHU
David Lindeman, PhD, Director, Center for Aging and Technology
John Lukrich, COO, Dummies Licensing Partners
John McKinley, Founder, OurParents.com
Laura Mitchell, Director of Business Relations, GrandCare Systems
Gary Moulton, Product Manager, Trustworthy Computing Group, Microsoft
Coby Neuenschwander, Founder and CEO, Readeo
Miles Orkin, National Director of E-Revenue and Mobile innovation, American Cancer Society
Casey Pittock, President & CEO, Wellcore Corporation
Peter Radsliff, CEO, Presto Services
Francine Russo, Best-Selling Author
Gail Sheehy, Best-Selling Author
Nancy Shonka Padberg, CEO, Navigate Boomer Media
Sandy Timmermann, Executive Director, MetLife Mature Market Institute
Tandy Trower, Hoaloa Robotics
Renee Werbin, Publisher & Co-Founder, Travelgirl Magazine


Date and Time: 
Friday, April 29, 2011
8:00 am – 5:00 pm
Parc 55 Wyndham Hotel
San Francisco

What's Next Boomer Business Summit
www.boomersummit.com
 
Sponsors include 
United Health Care, Microsoft, South West Airlines, Continuum Crew, AARP, Navigate Boomer Media, Verizon, First Republic Bank, SRA, Linqto, Common Language, Met Life, AAA

Save 20% - Code wnnb11

Not Done Yet - Inspiring, Empowering, Optimism and Belief in Self

The website offers articles of interest, stories of reinvention and a cool on-line store. The Shop features beautiful and excellent quality American Made tees, tanks and thermals for women and men as well as fun gifty items like bling water bottles and mugs. In addition, ndy is very proud to donate a portion of every sale to Womens cancer research, Alzheimer's and grief support services.

Shop ndy for the Holidays! http://www.ndynotdoneyet.com/shop.html

 

Cartoons are about Real Life

I have a large file of cartoons. Here are three favorites:

A headstone bearing the name of the deceased, and below it "Member, Placebo Group."

Another headstone bearing the deceased's name and the inscription ‘Never sick a day in his life - and now this."

A father with his arms around his son's shoulder as they gaze out the window on a large factory. The caption reads "Someday, son, all this will belong to your wife!"

A recent New Yorker cover shows a cartoon with a bridal couple, in full wedding regalia, sitting in the back of the limo. She looks angry. He looks puzzled. The caption reads: "It didn't have to end like this."

Is this couple on the way to the altar, or leaving it? Did she just find out a secret he has that's a deal breaker for her? Did her ex show up at the wedding, claiming he still loves her, and she feeling the same about him? Maybe she's offended because her groom was trying to save some money by booking the deluxe honeymoon suite instead of the presidential one.

Perhaps her groom presented her with a prenuptial agreement at the last minute and expected her to sign it without her lawyer's help? Or horror of horrors, his mother was sulking again because she wasn't invited along for the honeymoon?

I believe some marriages are over shortly after they begin. It just takes some people longer to figure it out - or maybe longer to speak up. I think you can tell the difference between wedding jitters and deeply buried concerns about the person you're planning to marry. None of us marries in expectation of divorce. Except for the bride in the cartoon who says "I'm so excited about getting my first marriage out of the way."

Iowa Judges Go Too Far

The situation was similar to what voters said to Congressional Senators and Representatives last week around the country. You're just not listening to us. We're tired of your arrogance... get out. Americans have spoken with their votes previously on several issues only to have state and federal judges reverse the decisions on a whim. So many of these reversals do not have Constitutional backing.

State judges are just not voted out very often which probably gives them a sense of tenure. It also apparently gives them a boldness that makes them feel they can interpret the law however they want. Iowa voters do not want the definition of marriage changed to accommodate gay demands. The three judges overturned that vote. Bad idea.

I would think that this will send a message to voters (and judges) in other states that deal with the same frustrations. "We the people" are in charge here. We saw the message get delivered loud and clear on November 2nd. This same message can be sent again on any state or federal election when the folks suddenly realize they hold the keys to the car.

The people have spoken... office holders beware.

 

Get Enlightened… Learn More About Your Computer

While you're asking yourself these questions, adrenalin is coursing through your system, making your body feel different. From sweating to squirminess, the physical manifestation of angst is very uncomfortable and makes it
difficult to concentrate. Even if the problem is solved quickly, after going into a momentary panic, it will take you anywhere from an hour to a day to get back to your normal level of functioning. And being in a panic is not great for your general well-being.

This is where the old saying that "knowledge is power" can be very helpful. Knowing how your computer works and having the ability to dance around a program and make it do what you want it to can make you feel creative and
intelligent. Having the ability to get done what you need to do and not encounter any problems allows for greater access to the inner resources and inspiration that we all have.

The pride that comes from mastering or, if you're a techno-spazz like me, just getting the basics of a computer can be very empowering. In addition, learning something new builds brain cells and staves off Alzheimer's. You actually stimulate the growth centers of your mind and create a greater ability to figure out what you need to do next. The confidence of knowing
that you can solve a problem, even before you actually encounter it, is very freeing and allows you to push yourself without feeling pushed.

You can fly though projects like a stunt pilot, doing barrel rolls around your Excel spreadsheet, while your knowledge of Photoshop will make Ansel Adams green with envy. In addition, every time you accomplish a new task,
it gives you the opportunity to feel better about yourself.

If you invest an hour or two a week in a class, many of which are available online, you will master your program/computer of choice in short order. With that ability, you can then create and share your gifts with the
world.

Just the social networking alone can link you up with what's going on in many different places. By Twittering here or Facebooking there, you can find old friends and make new ones. By creating a blog you can touch the
lives of hundreds, perhaps thousands (and maybe even get a book deal). Quite simply, it's an opportunity to connect with the rest of humanity.

So go get that new laptop or use your kid's old desktop, it's time to learn how to keep up with the rest of the human race.

 

Media expert Nancy Shonka Padberg Turns Spotlight on Top Boomer Issues

What images spring to mind at the mention of "baby boomers?" Executives? Yoga teachers? Botox? All of the above?

Media expert Nancy Shonka Padberg turns the spotlight on top issues facing the baby boomer generation.

By Emily DiFrisco

The multifaceted baby boomer group comprises 78 million people living in the United States today. They fall between the "Silent Generation" (the children of the Great Depression) and Generation X. Born between 1946 and 1964, baby boomers are the healthiest, wealthiest, most educated, and prosperous generation thus far, plucked right from the pages of American history.

Boomers saw the U.S. change from a manufacturing economy to a knowledge economy. They saw the formation of the Interstate Highway System, enabling their families to "pack up the station wagon" and travel like never before. They were able to leave their hometowns and go to college. They embraced technology, as they saw the number of television sets grow from 4 to 50 million from 1950 to 1960.

"In the industrial age, it was all about product, price, place, and promotion," says Nancy Shonka Padberg (MBA '03), founder of Best Boomer Towns, Inc., and Navigate Boomer Media, LLC. "The manufacturers pushed the product to the customer. You could get your Ford in black or black. In the knowledge age, it is all about consumers, cost, convenience, and communication. The consumer is in charge. And I would argue that the boomer consumer is in charge."

Even as they age, baby boomers still control 70 percent of the total net worth in the U.S. They spend an average of $3 trillion dollars per year and an additional $7 billion online. They purchase 41 percent of new cars and shell out for 80 percent of luxury travel.

Padberg, a former Fortune 500 executive, first discovered the baby boomer market as vice president at The Phelps Group, where she worked on campaigns for Fairmont Hotels, PETCO, and Whole Foods Market. "All these companies have research on their clientele," she explains, "and the research was astounding. Specifically, with PETCO, we found that baby boomers and empty-nesters spent the most on their pets."

As part of the team developing TV, print, and radio campaigns, Padberg strove to help advertisers understand and reach the boomer audience. She asked her clients, "How do we connect with boomers emotionally? It was easy with animals. We really had some terrific commercials for PETCO."

Seeking to start her own marketing firm and realizing that with knowledge comes opportunity, Padberg went back to school, earning her MBA from the Graziadio School of Business and Management of Pepperdine University, where she "saw all the pieces come together." In marketing class, she again studied the demographics of boomers. She also learned the two biggest takeaways for a startup: have a clear point of differentiation and develop a healthy culture.

Parlaying her knowledge from school and her career, the Iowa native developed a business plan for Best Boomer Towns, Inc., which launched in 2005. The Web site serves as a destination for boomers to find and exchange information on the best 21 locations in the U.S. to relocate or retire.

Recognizing additional needs in the marketplace, Padberg brought together nine media colleagues, including Pepperdine alumnus Kyle Murphy (BSM '04, MBA '05), and launched Navigate Boomer Media, LLC in Fall 2009. Navigate allows time-starved media buyers and marketers to buy display advertising on 10, 15, or 20 Web sites at a time. Launched in 2009 with 50 sites, the company now represents 119 sites with over 112 million unique visitors per month.

"Boomers spend an average of 15 hours per week online," says Padberg of her decision to create online businesses. "Print and radio can't say they have their audience for 15 hours per week. The largest segment of the population is coming through and embracing new technology like never before. In fact, the fastest growing segment on Facebook in the last year has been women 50-plus."

Not even one year later, Navigate Boomer Media has emerged as the No. 1 online boomer ad network in the U.S. They represent boomer-focused Web sites such as vibrantnation.com, grandparents.com, and silverplanet.com, and publish original content for Web sites, blogs, social networking communities, and streaming radio. The business is now expanding into Canada and Southeast Asia.

While the young company continues to grow, Padberg observes, "We're not a Fortune 500 company, we're not corporate. We wear quite a few hats. We're nimble and can make quick decisions. We know that we have the right media with the right target audience, at the right time."
Summer 2010

Pepperdine Magazine Article August 31, 2010

 

Features That Excite The Baby Boomer Home Buyer

5 Home Features That Excite Baby Boomer Buyers

1. Hardwood Floors:
Hardwood floors are sought after by home buyers across all property types and architectural styles. Hardwood flooring has a timeless style and is more durable than other types of flooring. Synthetic wood floors are an option for owners who can't afford hardwood - just know that most potential buyers will know the difference right away.

2. Stainless Steel Appliances:
Many buyers like the sleek, powerful appearance of stainless steel kitchen appliances. Part of the attraction may be that a home kitchen with stainless steel appliances suggests the professionalism of a commercial kitchen. The modern look of the appliances themselves can be incorporated into almost any kitchen design (from modern interiors to more traditional styles). A stainless steel finish is not for everyone, however, so keep in mind that the appeal of these contemporary gadgets will not be universal.

3. Quality Fixtures:
Upgrading the smallest details can often go a long ways to improving your home's appeal to buyers. Replacing outdated or lower-quality doorknobs, faucets, light switch/outlet covers, and drawer pulls can be a relatively inexpensive way to make over a bathroom or kitchen. You can also greatly enhance your home's appeal by updating lighting fixtures throughout your house, but keep in mind that higher-end lighting fixtures can get expensive fast. Whenever replacing fixtures, make sure the replacements coordinate with both any remaining fixtures and the interior aesthetic of your home.

4. Area for Big Screen TV
The popularity of larger flat panel and projection screen televisions in recent years has in turn generated greater interest in advanced home audio that compliments near cinema-quality picture. Building a surround sound system into your living/media room can entice potential buyers who may be excited by the idea of a new dimension of home entertainment but disinclined to go through the process of installation and setup.

5. Slab Kitchen Countertops:
Granite countertops get a lot of attention as a must-have finish for any contemporarily designed kitchen, but in reality a number of other slab materials can be used to achieve a similar look at a lower cost. One of the major selling points of granite countertops is how easy they are to care for: the hard, nonporous surface is much easier to clean than a tile counter top with grout lines. Solid Synthetic surfaces (such as Corian), composite stone (such as Silestone), limestone, soapstone, marble, quartz and butcher-block slab counters all come with easy care and a more attractive appearance than laminate or tile countertops.

Upgrades to the home itself are features (such as hardwood flooring or high end appliances) that you pay extra for to improve the home based on your tastes. Builders can make a lot of money on upgrades, because they get the parts and labor at favorable rates and generally tack on a large markup.

Make sure you know the base feature list of the model you are purchasing by heart. When the builder offers upgrades, make sure you understand exactly what is being offered by asking questions and taking notes.

Do your own research to compare the cost of the feature plus installation as offered by the builder with what it would cost to have the work done independently after move in. If the builder's version is far and away more expensive, bidding the work out to independent contractors after you move in is probably the smart move. If the costs are similar, however, it may be less stress to have the work completed by the builder in advance.

Hire an Independent Home Inspector

Many people who purchase new construction fall into the trap of thinking that because the home is newly built, the important step of getting a detailed home inspection is unnecessary. Simply put, new construction does not guarantee sound construction, and skipping a professional inspection can leave you open to future problems that might crop op as a result of building flaws or cut corners. Even homes built by the most scrupulous contractors can have defects that are not obvious to the untrained eye.

 

The Unpretentious Warren Buffet

I admire Warren Buffett, not because of his wealth, but because of his lack of pretention. He doesn't believe that giving money to his kids equates with giving them love. He wanted them to carve out their own path and believed that 'setting them up with unlimited wealth is harmful and an anti-social act.'

His decision to donate nearly $37 billion to the Gates Foundation may have shocked the world, but it came as no surprise to his three children, whom he'd consulted first.

A few years ago, his children, Susan, Howard and Peter said they supported their father's decision not to leave all his money to them. http://abcnews.go.com/print?id=2133209

"The truth is it would be insane to leave us that much money," said Susan Buffett. "It just would be."
Buffett gave $1 billion to his children's three charitable foundations: the Susan A. Buffett Foundation, which focuses on early education for children of low-income families; the Howard G. Buffett Foundation, which has helped 42 countries; and the Novo Foundation, Peter Buffett's organization for democracy. They each draw a salary from their work.

Keep in mind that the Buffett kids grew up in a 3 bedroom, 2 bath house in Omaha Nebraska. They attended local elementary and high schools . Their friends were neighborhood kids who actually played without needing play dates or being chauffered from house to house. The Buffett kids grew up without pretension; money wasn't the way they measured their parents' love.

Each Buffett sibling recently received a letter from their father in which he wrote: "I consider myself lucky to have three children who want to spend much of their time and energy working on projects that will benefit others. I am proud of what you are doing and your mother would be proud as well. Love, Dad."

I like this man, in spite of his wealth.

 

California Personal Income Tax Information

Personal income tax

* California collects income tax from its residents at the following rates.

For single and married filing separately taxpayers:

1.25 percent on the first $7,060 of taxable income

2.25 percent on taxable income between $7,061 and $16,739

4.25 percent on taxable income between $16,740 and $26,419

6.25 percent on taxable income between $26,420 and $36,675

8.25 percent on taxable income between $36,676 and $46,349

9.55 percent on taxable income of $46,350 and above

* A 1 percent surcharge, the Mental Health Services Tax, is collected on taxable incomes of $1 million or more, making California's highest marginal rate 10.55 percent.

* For married persons filing joint returns and heads of households, the rates remain the same but the income brackets are doubled.

* Residents must complete returns on Form 540EZ, Form 540A (short form), Form 540 (long form) or Form 540-ADS by April 15. When that date falls on a weekend or holiday, filers get until the next business day to submit their state returns.

* You might be able to file your California return electronically at no cost using CalFile if you meet the program's eligibility requirements.

* With Ready Return, eligible California taxpayers can view a pre-filled state tax return, update it if needed and e-file it directly with the state, all at no cost.

 

Baby Boomers Emotional Support

In order to get your emotional needs met, you must be proactive and ask for what you need. This may mean asking for a hug or your hand to be held when you are feeling a bit shaky. Getting comfortable with sharing your needs is the first step.

By stating your needs, you will you have a greater chance of having them answered. If you expect someone to read your mind, most likely you won't get the support you need.

Those who are unable to ask or expect others to just know what they need are more likely to become less stable as their hearts remain unhealed and they stay stressed out. This can cause people to be introverted or even irritable because they don't feel good about themselves.

It would be great if we could all be totally self-contained and not need the emotional support of others. But if life were supposed to be that way, we wouldn't feel the need to want and give love.

These days getting a pat on the back or loving words from someone can be as easy as opening up your Facebook page or sending a text. "Just touching base" is a good opening line if you want to reconnect with someone via e-mail or social networking. By the way, I don't think it's a good idea to make electronic contact your only source for emotional support; there's a big world out there with lots of other people who need and want to feel connected.

Being in close proximity to another human being is really the best way to feel emotional support. A phone call can work (for a while), but face-to-face contact is really the best way to go. This is not about romance. It's about having a person (or people) who will listen to what is going on in your heart. Just talking about your pain will help diminish it, and you will create a stronger bond with the person who is listening. This is basically how therapy works.

If you really can't find a person or just aren't feeling strong enough to reach out, even to a family member, having an animal can make a big difference. A pet may not be able to help you think your way through a problem, but having one can make you calmer, and the unconditional love of an animal is always uplifting.

If you are wondering why you need emotional support in the first place, the answer is simple: you're human. Very few people can do life all by themselves, and those who choose to are missing out on one of the best parts of being alive.

- Dr. Barton Goldsmith, marriage and family therapist, can be reached at 818-879-9996 or via e-mail at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address). He has lived and practiced in Westlake Village for more than a decade. Hear him live on KCLU Radio, 88.3 FM, from noon to 1 p.m. Mondays.

 

Coaches on the Edge are Dragged Kicking and Screaming into the 21st Century

elizabeth: You know, if life was less complicated, if I didn't work seven days a week (my fault, I know, but getting a book proposal out does cut into one's eating and sleeping hours) and if it wasn't so hard to wrap my brain around all the freaking instructions, then maybe, just maybe, I would have the time to think about how damn important I am that people must be able to get in touch with me at a moment's notice. I don't think that any of us are that important. Well, maybe me but I think I am staying with my "I want to be alone some of the time" attitude.

Laurie: Now the tough decisions begin. Do I want a Blackberry? Maybe a Storm, maybe not. I mention Droid and all my phone-savvy friends sigh. Hello, it's a phone, not a soul mate. I've been advised to go and play with the phones to see which one speaks to my heart. A play date with a phone? What happened to making a call - another essential feature of life I attempt to avoid when I'm out on the street? No, now a mere phone must meet my esthetic, cosmetic and spiritual needs while it makes a call.

Elizabeth: Have you tried eHarmony.com or Match.com?

Laurie: I am making the following technology promises right now, regardless of how well my play date goes:

I will not be found looking at my phone when my dinner date returns from a bathroom trip. I won't check my email during intermissions at the theatre. I will not crash into people on the street as I text that urgent reply that can't wait until I get home. I will not walk into oncoming traffic while I'm reading my email. I will never ever download a musical arrangement of any kind. I will only take pictures that can later be used in criminal cases as evidence. And I will Not Not Not buy my phone a dress (case), consider it a wardrobe accessory, or give it a name. I hope those phone angels are listening.

elizabeth: I fear that within a week you will be doing all of that, and maybe you will get one of those snappy Bluetooths to wear and annoy mankind as you walk down the street. Let me know when you go shopping for a phone dress. Maybe you and your "Insert your cute as a kitten phone name here" phone can get matching outfits. I will take out my phone and click away, and when you get the ransom note, just make out the check to moi.

© 2010, Coaches on the Edge ^TM

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys. Stop by at elizabeth's site at: Coaching for the Creative Soul

 

 

 

Are you Ready for Retirement?

Have you made your list of passions, hobbies, sports?

Do you need to work after retirement for financial support?

Do you feel confident of financial security for twenty five years?

Do you have an emergency medical fund or insurance for retirement?

Do you have the money set aside to thrive in retirement?

Have you thought about the kind of home you want to live in?

Have you thought about the town, weather, cost of living and culture of the area?

 

“Don’t Leave Home Without It.” Tips to Keep You Safe from the Raised Eyebrow Group

To this day the authorities are looking for whoever absconded with my Labium Superius and Inferius. But I don't lock up without rounding up what is left of my lips and glossing them over.

Tip 1A: Always carry a small compact mirror with you. Nothing says "you remind me of your mother's maiden aunt" more than lipstick all over your teeth.

Laurie: Tip #2. There are so many things that are a natural part of my huge Vera Bradley purse, but if I had to pick one of the many essentials first, I think it would be Band-Aids. Yep, regular ole Band-Aids. In New York City, Land of Walk Everywhere, you never know when an old and trusted shoe is going to turn on you. Breezing down the sidewalk dodging tourists and potholes, suddenly you feel the beginning of a blister on your exhausted foot. Whip out that Band-Aid, slap it on the painful puffy foot skin, and keep easing on down the avenue.

elizabeth: Tip #3: Before leaving for work, a class, an errand or anything that just might be causing you some aggravation - take a few deep breaths. Get centered. Pet your dog. Feed your fish. Drink some milk out of your cat's bowl (make sure Fluffy is out of the room). Do anything to find some inner peace. Because the person you might be honking at to move into oncoming traffic could be me. And you don't know what ugly scary is until you try to try my patience.

Laurie: Tip #4. If you are crazy enough to actually try to drive in New York City traffic, never leave home without a roll of quarters. Yes, they make a lovely weapon of self-defense but that's not the reason I am telling you to throw them in your purse or car. After you have driven around for 45 minutes, you finally find a parking space. You will probably have to take a taxi to your destination but it's a parking space. You make the dreaded parallel parking attempts five or six times and finally get your car situated, and then you realize that you don't have quarter for the parking meter. Serious crimes have been committed in the name of a quarter.

elizabeth: Tip #5 Your parents may think that you are the center of their universe, but, trust me, and I mean this in the nicest way, you are not the center of ours. We don't need to hear a minute-to-minute account of your work day or your sex life or lack of. We got our own "Lacks ofs" list to keep us busy for a decade or two. Please don't burden us with yours. Try to make your phone calls at home. I know. That sounds like corporal punishment. If you must use your cell phone in public, please remember to use your inside voice. Or how about that inner voice that is telling you that no one needs to know the intimate details of your life? Listen to it. We'll read all the gory details of a day in your life when your memoir comes out. For now just sit down, open up a book, put on some lipstick and remain silent. Anything you say may be held against you.

Laurie: Tip #6. Always pack a sense of humor. You're going to need it when you discover that you have lipstick on your teeth, a blister on your foot, no quarters in your purse, and a bunch of people yelling on their cell phones.

 

Communication Tips for Your Personal and Professional Life

• Verbal attacks, bad language, and continually criticizing someone are ways of deconstructing your connection to your team. These words chip away at the foundation of your business relationships by weakening your team mates self-esteem and ability to see what it is that really needs healing. If there are behaviors that you need someone to change, point them out, using solid examples along with suggestions of how you would like things to be different. Often, people are unaware of how their words can affect those they live and work with and how simple changes in language can make a vast difference. Just making the agreement to stop swearing is a powerful tool that will immediately lower the tension in your home and office and you'll also be more respected.

• By staying on topic, you can avoid having a conversation disintegrate into an uncomfortable argument. Bringing up the distant past can be a way of not allowing closure to the issue at hand. It can also be a way of punishing the other person for your pain. Keep your conversation focused on the current problem and solve it. Then, once you have made appropriate adjustments and come to a conclusion, spend a moment to go over what was said. Making sure you are both on the same page will prevent you from having to deal with the same issue repeatedly.

• Clarity can be difficult when emotional issues arise. Sometimes our feelings take over and we either get scared by our feelings or are blinded with anger. Being open and honest with your partner, even if you are anxious or hurt, is the best way to resolve your issues. Clamming up, sending double messages, or being evasive will only serve to frustrate both of you. Say what you need to say in an appropriate manner so that you can move on and enjoy your life together.

• Learning to never terrorize your loved ones or business associates is one of the most valuable communication tools you can use. So many deals and relationships would be saved if one or the other person refused to devalue his or her client or lover with threats. These inappropriate remarks are actually a way of saying to the people you care for, "I'm hiding the fear I really feel, but I sense this isn't going to go the way I want it to." It would be much more productive if you could honestly say, "I need for some clarity, let's chat."

• When discussions digress into yelling matches, taking a time out is a tried and true method of keeping things on track. Either person can call a time out, but both of you need to agree before hand that you will commit to completing the conversation, no matter how uncomfortable it may have become. Leaving things unfinished is an invitation to further misunderstanding and hurt feelings.

• Interrupting anyone when he or she is sharing their feelings is a way of discounting what the other person is saying. By cutting him or her off you are saying, "You're wrong, I'm right and my ideas are more important than yours." Instead of blurting out what you are thinking, chose to remember your thought and share it with the other person when he or she is finished. The interrupting technique is also a way on not listening to your someone's feelings and that also causes emotional pain.

• Disagreements are a part of communication and a part of life. Acknowledging that it is okay for a teammate or life-mate to have and express a differing opinion, rather than stuffing his or her feelings, is a sign of a mature and nurturing personal or business relationship. In the long run, differences can make for more interesting conversation and work. Besides, having someone agree with everything you feel can take some of the mystery out of life.

• If either of you are not in a place to communicate when another person needs to, you have the right to say so. However, you must agree to have the conversation sometime within a reasonable period of time. I don't think it's a good idea to let things go unsaid for more than a day or two.

• When something is bothering you, it is important to bring it up as your issue instead of pointing the finger at that person. Owning your emotions and using "I statements" to describe how you are feeling keeps things clear and allows whomever you are speaking with to hear what it is you are saying to him or her.
"I" statements are where you talk about how you feel and give a corrective action rather than just telling him or her what you think they are doing wrong. For example, instead of saying, "You always hurt leave the dirty work for me" say, "It bugs me when you don't complete the projects we are working on."
Sharing your feelings in this way minimizes defensiveness because you are not blaming. It will help both of you create agreements that will make your working relationship healthier and happier.

If having unpleasant exchanges with co-workers or clients is the norm in your company, you have to change the way you communicate or your chances of achieving success will be greatly diminished.

Following these guidelines will help everyone involved understand and communicate with each other much better. Remember that communication is the most important thing in business and that we can all get better at it.

Communication Repair Rules

Rules for Speaker:
1. Speak for yourself. Don't mind read.
2. Keep statements brief.
3. Use a softened start-up.
4. Present your complaints without criticism.
5. Stop & let the listener paraphrase what you've said.

Rules for the Listener:
1. Paraphrase what you hear the speaker say.
2. Focus on the speakers message.
3. Don't rebut.
4. Accept influence.
5. Positively take in the other person's requests.

Rules for the Speaker & the Listener:
1. The Speaker has the floor.
2. The Speaker keeps the floor while the listener paraphrases.
3. Share the floor.
4. Put the brakes on conflict. Do anything to halt negativity.
5. If discussions get over-heated, take a time out for at least 20 minutes.
6. De-escalate discord. Stop and redirect the energy.

 

 

Financial Planning is More Than Money - How Strategies Fit Into Plans

I was reminded of this difference recently when reviewing the "plan" created by Lou, a friend of mine. Lou asked if I would, "take a look" at his plan and offer an opinion. He handed me a document that was several pages long, which contained the results of a risk analyzer and portfolio recommendations. I could see that he had spent some time creating this.

I immediately thought of the difference between strategies and plans and said, "This is interesting as a strategy, but lacking as a plan." He looked puzzled at my comment and I went on to explain, a true financial plan is a life plan. It starts with a vision of how you see your future, creating goals, setting priorities.

Once your goals are set, then you develop strategies. These should consist of more than building a portfolio. Strategies are the engine that drives you to your vision. They are the action steps that lead you to meet your goals. They must be comprehensive to be truly effective. Like an engine, which cannot run efficiently on a few cylinders, throwing together various strategies, without a global plan, will only get you spotty results and ultimately misfires. Strategies include creating timelines, understanding all areas of money management, insuring and protecting against catastrophe, and creating a Plan B for the unexpected.

A plan is an active document--an evolving project--which requires monitoring, tweaking and updating. Changes in your job, relationships, health, and financials will necessitate updates and adjustments. When priorities change, one goal may be accomplished, while another is added to replace it. For instance; the birth of a child or grandchild, may add college planning to the plan, or health issues may require additional care costs. Changes in relationships may require revamping your estate planning goals.

When the plan is active and not set in stone, you can easily readjust and keep moving forward. Making sure you stay on target to your goals will require vigilance. You will be updating and rebalancing your accounts, making adjustments in your strategies, and revisiting your timelines.

Try thinking of building a life, or financial, plan along the lines of taking a long journey. First, you have a vision of the trip, decide upon the various stops along the way, and then chart the route you will travel. Your vision becomes stronger, once you have that map out, the car goes into the garage for a tune-up, and the hotels are booked. Once begun, the journey is likely to follow twists and turns you didn't plan for and yet they add to the value of the experience. The restaurant you found on the back street when you took a wrong turn, the bad weather that caused you to postpone the canyon hiking for a trip to an antique shop full of bargains, all contribute to the evolving nature of an active journey. It's always changing and that allows you to make the best of whatever comes your way.

As you build your life/financial plan, keep these thoughts in mind:

1. Start with a vision.
2. Set timelines for goals.
3. Create strategies that align with your goals.
4. Monitor, adjust, rethink, tweak.

The destination you reach may be more wonderful than you ever imagined.

About Mike Bonacorsi, CFP®

Mike Bonacorsi is a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER^TM professional, public speaker and award-winning author of Retirement Readiness: A Guide to Creating Your Vision, Knowing Your Position, and Preparing for Your Future. You can listen to his radio show, The Mike Bonacorsi Show, at WSMN, 1590AM or on your computer at http://wsmnradio.com on Tuesdays from noon - 1:00 PM. For additional information, visit http://mikebonacorsi.com/. Follow Mike on Twitter @MikeBonacorsi. Read his blog at http://www.mikebonacorsi.blogspot.com/ Reprinted with permission of the author. 2009© Mike Bonacorsi CFP® All Rights Reserved.

 

 

Self Exam:  Proactive Approach to Skin Cancer Detection

Taking a proactive approach in monitoring your skin for potential skin cancers - especially if you are in a high risk group - is an essential step in complete sun safety habits. Descriptions of how to conduct a self-examination are readily available on the web, however, we thought we would post this essential information as a New Year's reminder to routinely check your skin.

Thanks to website SkinCancerNet for the following images.
Conducting the Skin Examination
To conduct a skin examination you will need: a full-length mirror, a hand-held mirror, privacy, pen or pencil and a mole map available for downloading at SkinCancerNet. Then follow these five easy steps.

Five Step Self Examination
• Stand in front of the mirror. Examine your body front and back, then on the right and left sides with your arms raised. Women should look under their breasts. (It helps to have a partner assist with the self-examination.)
•Next, bend your elbows and examine forearms, upper underarms and palms.
•Next, look at the back of your legs and feet. Look at the spaces between your toes and the soles of your feet. Remember, it's important to examine your whole body, not just the areas of the skin that are exposed to the sun. Skin cancer can occur anywhere.
•Examine the back of your neck and scalp with a hand-held mirror. Part your hair to examine the entire scalp.
•Check your back and buttocks with the hand-held mirror.

The mole map helps you keep a record of current moles, blemishes and other marks for reference in future self-examinations. Fill it out and keep it with important documents.

What to Look For
Becoming familiar with the moles, blemishes and birthmarks on your skin will enable you to detect changes in them. Look for changes in size, color, shape and texture.

Specific warning signs include:
•A mole that is different from the rest. A mole that itches or bleeds or that changes in any way.
•A sore that never fully heals.
•Translucent growth with rolled edges.
•A brown or black streak beneath a nail.
•Cluster of slow-growing shiny pink or red lesions.
•Waxy feeling scar.
•Depressed lesion that feels hard to the touch.

If you find any suspicious lesions, immediately call your dermatologist and TELL him or her why you are calling. In some areas of the country, it takes months to get an appointment. Communicate your urgency. In most cases, skin cancer can be successfully treated, but left too long, they can result in death.

Finally, dermatologists have developed a simple set of rules describing suspicious lesions they call the ABCDEs of melanoma. The Skin Cancer Foundation posts these on their website along with pictures describing the skin condition.

Be proactive in your skin care. Routinely examine your skin. Be SunAWARE and Be Safe!

 

 

If Shopping Is Wrong, Coaches on the Edge Don’t Wanna Be Right

Laurie: Why oh why can't I turn down a bargain? My mentality is exactly what advertisers speak to, and it works every time. My closets are full of enough "only-$10!" items to pay my full rent for a month. And in New York City, that is no small feat. Speaks well to the size of my closets though. Do I wear these practically-free pieces of clothing? Some times, but most likely not. I have the phone number for Dress for Success committed to memory, and once every three months or so I drag over a big bag of never-before-worn clothes. Jackets are another thing that can't be resisted. I've got them in every color and style. The opportunity to wear jackets in my area of the United States, where spring and autumn are almost mere memories, is about five days tops. So right now I have a jacket supply that would enable me to change every eight hours and still not duplicate. Shoes I'm much smarter on. Don't get me wrong. I still buy them, but I get rid of them at the first sign of toe crunch, blister building, and arch pain. My sister hasn't bought a pair of sneakers in decades.

elizabeth: I have fallen in love with shoes and felt heart-pounding palpitations that were stronger than what I have felt for men that I was dating or even sleeping with. And if I found them on sale (the shoes not the men), I would let them move in with me and I would not forsaken them until the next pair seduced with me with a simple, "I do come in 9 ½." I was such a shoe whore. And clothes on sale. I think I took care of every "emotional band-aid" in my life with shopping bags that were filled with designer threads that I got for a steal. Moving from a one-bedroom apartment in Manhattan to a 3 bedroom house was an opportunity to take home even more orphans that needed a good closet.

Laurie: It's not like the salesperson takes me into a secret room and says "Here are the specials we're offering today just for you." These delectable bargains are right out there in the middle of the floor under screaming banners beckoning to all shoppers who pass by. Why do I feel the need to answer the call? I think it may be a superiority thing. Suddenly I have a chance to trick the retail system. You were selling that jacket for $75, and now I can get it for $10? Obvious, it's so obvious. It's my duty to universal justice to buy it at a $65 savings. President Bush and I didn't agree on much, but when he said it was our patriotic duty to shop, me and the Pres became kindred souls. It was a brief liaison, but it was rewarding. At least to Dress for Success.

elizabeth: I do feel good when I can donate clothing and (insert loud gasp here) shoes to an organization that will help empower women. I feel like I was just babysitting for them until the time was right for each woman to go out and strike it on her own. Can I make a little confession? And promise you won't deem me shallow? The shoes and clothes that I have had a long and deep relationship with will not be leaving me unless you pull them out of my cold dead hands. Sometimes Dress for Success will just have to wait. I didn't say I was a saint. Just a well dressed woman who loves her shoes.

© 2009, Coaches on the Edge ^TM

If you would like to learn more about Laurie, please go to her site: Empowered Life Journeys.

Stop by at elizabeth's site at: Branching Out Life Coaching
Please visit our new site at Coaches on the Edge

 

 

Who Buys Sun Protective Clothes?

Sun protection clothing originated in Australia as a result of that nation's awareness of its epidemic of skin cancer and its determination to fight it. In Australia, the anti-skin cancer campaign was originally focused on prevention (by targeting messages at children) and on early detection (by targeting seniors).

As a result the market for sun protection clothing for children grew dramatically. Now, most children in Australia wear sun protective swimwear or beachwear. Most also wear protective sportswear and have sun protection garments included in school uniforms.

In the United States, despite an epidemic in skin cancers, these trends are almost exactly opposite. The main buyers of sun protective clothing in the US are people forty or over, especially people who have experience health problems from sun exposure, want to prevent a recurrence, and have received medical advice from their doctors.

We suspect that the main reason for the difference is that in the United States, there is no on-going national skin cancer campaign focused on the prevention and detection of skin cancer. Although sun safe curricula is available through the EPA and various sun safe organizations, they are optional. And, they're not backed-up by an on-going national message. Despite the efforts of so many well-meaning organizations and individuals, the overall message is ad hoc.

With recent media attention directed at protecting children from sun exposure, we hope to see a change in these trends. That is, we hope to see more and more parents buying sun protective clothing for their children (and for themselves before a medical event pushes them in that direction). Unfortunately, however, most advice on protecting children seems to focus on sunscreen with sun protection clothing coming in a distinct second. For all age groups, sun protective clothing is the first and best line of defense against skin cancer.

 

Boomer Research, Did You Know?

Every 7 Seconds someone in America
turns 50.

50+ age group:

Is the fastest growing population 
segment.

Is the most affluent consumer 
group that exists.

or healthiest, wealthiest group that
is active and educated,

Account for over 40% of total 
consumer demand.

Average $24,000 in annual disposable 
income.

Control over 48% of all discretionary 
purchases that occur.

Own over 80% of all money in 
savings accounts.

Own 79% of America's financial 
assets.

Spend almost $2 Trillion on goods 
& services each year.

Own 62% of all large Wall Street 
investment accounts.

Visit malls more often than 
any other age group.

Dine out 4-5 times per week.

74% use the Internet to find 
health information.

78% make online purchases.

Over 70% are willing to try new 
brands.

Spend over $29 Billion yearly on 
grandchildren's gifts.

Women over 50 spend $21 Billion
on clothes annually

Job Hunting Over 40 Series Part 3

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS.

While you are looking for a job take a break from the news.  The news is often depressing and adds nothing of benefit to your life.  Instead of watching CSI Miami or Desperate Housewives, take the time you save---about 14 hours a week if you only watch two hours a day---and do something useful.  Enroll in a class to learn PowerPoint, read motivational books, study up on your industry or set up a Facebook page.  Make every minute of your time productive in some way, either personally or professionally.

YOUR OWN EXTREME MAKEOVER. 

Look at some magazines that feature “makeovers” to see just how much you can change your life with diet, exercise, fashionable clothes, better makeup, a new haircut and a positive mental attitude.  Oprah and More magazines run makeovers of regular people all the time.  Men’s Health, and occasionally GQ, do the same for men.  Seeing how dramatically regular people can change their looks is encouraging.

When you look at the “before” and “after” photos of people who have lost weight and toned up, the first thing almost everyone notices is how much younger the person looks.  It changes your entire appearance from tired and worn out to youthful and vigorous.  Doing your own makeover can be a life-changing act that will not only help get your career back on track but will open up opportunities you can only dream of happening. 

When Marie Osmond and Valeri Bertinelli lost weight and got fit their entire careers were revitalized.  It’s a story you hear over and over again from people who have found the will and done the work to make themselves over into the beautiful people they are inside.

YOUR SMILE IS YOUR FIRST IMPRESSION.

Now is a good time to go to the dentist for a good cleaning and checkup.  A bright smile helps project youth and vitality.  Teeth whiteners may be necessary if you drink coffee or wine.  Age tends to dull teeth as well.  During a first meeting, your smile and handshake are your two most powerful “calling cards.”

HAIR---OR NOT.

Re-evaluate your hair style too.  Is it contemporary?  Long hair, sometimes favored by Baby Boomers, is viewed more negatively than not in most professions.  Ironically, if your hair is thinning keeping it short gives the illusion of having more hair.  If you’re a guy with male pattern baldness, or very thin hair, you may want to go the Bruce Willis route.  Very short hair or none at all is “hip” now among guys of all ages.

If your hair is grey you may as well shout “old” from the rooftops.  Grey hair may look sophisticated or elegant but it does not say “young.”  Consider getting it colored or use a product like Just For Men to reduce the amount of grey.

Facial hair is also viewed negatively by a sizeable portion of people.  Now is not the time to have any negatives on your side.  Consider ditching the moustache and/or beard.  You’ll look younger with a clean-shaven face.  Women too.

NIP AND TUCK.

While some people might object, being out of work is an excellent time to have a “little work done” too.  If those sagging jowls, tired eyelids or wrinkled skin make you look old (of course it ---does), perhaps now is the time to engage a good cosmetic surgeon to take a few years off your looks.  Keep it conservative though; you don’t want to pull a Michael Jackson.

LOOKS COUNT---AS IN THE NUMBER OF YEARS PEOPLE THINK YOU’VE BEEN ALIVE.

It’s sad to say, but dozens of studies have proven that people who look better are considered more intelligent, capable and personable.  So, you should do what you can to improve your looks.  First impressions are made within 10 seconds in most cases.  Be sure your first impression is a good one.

On the other hand, don’t obsess about how you look.  You don’t need to look like Brad Pitt or Scarlett Johannsen---just the best version of yourself.  In fact, extreme good looks can be as big a detriment as extremely bad looks.

BAD HABITS.

While you’re making yourself over, drop some bad habits as well.  If you are one of the four adults who still have not gotten the message about the harm of smoking, now is the time to give it up.  Smoking decreases your stamina, wrinkles your face, and seriously degrades your health---not what employers are looking for these days.  Signing up for a good smoking cessation program will reap a lifetime (literally) of benefits.

GET RID OF WHAT’S HOLDING YOU BACK.

Likewise, if you have anger management, gambling, drinking or drug problems, now you have the time to rid yourself of these bad habits.  It can only help your career---and your life.

BUILD A PLATFORM FOR SUCCESS.

These days it’s important to create a “platform” that contributes to your “personal brand” in order to stand out from the masses of job seekers.   What sets you apart?  What skill have you developed that no one (or few) others possess?  What “style” reflects your personality best? 

Apple Computer’s Steve Jobs has a clearly defined “brand” image.  He’s a Baby Boomer who dresses in jeans and turtlenecks, wears stylish glasses and has trimmed his balding head into a “hip” short haircut.  He is a bold and dynamic leader and has learned to be an effective communicator.  He neatly reflects the same image as he wants his products to project.  He’s older but he’s not “old.”  His “brand” is drastically different from that of other contemporaries like Bill Gates and Michael Dell.

Your “platform” drives your “brand.”  Decide how you want to be perceived and then add the building blocks to create your personal style, skill-set, personality and charisma.  Branding yourself based upon a platform of truth, unique skills and personal style is a key ingredient to becoming successful.  In a job interview it will set you apart from dozens of other candidates who have no brand identity.  You want to do everything possible to give yourself an “edge” over your competitors and a clearly defined “brand image” will do that.

President Obama has a clearly defined branded personality.  He is a charismatic speaker, dresses professionally, almost never reacts emotionally or in anger, is a best-selling author, is confident, has a good sense of humor, is gracious, thoughtful and highly educated.  His “brand” beat out the other candidate (whose “brand” wasn’t as defined or as strong) for the job as president.