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About the Author

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Dr. Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D.

Named by Cosmopolitan Magazine as one of the country’s top relationship experts, award winning psychotherapist, syndicated columnist and radio host, Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized counselor, author and speaker. He has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, Fox & Friends, CBS News, NBC News, Beauty and The Geek and The Greg Behrendt Show. In addition, numerous radio shows and national magazines have interviewed him. Most recently, Dr. Goldsmith served as the national spokesperson for the Mars Candy My M&M’s Treasured Moments Challenge.

Since 2002, his weekly column, Emotional Fitness, which is syndicated by Scripps-Howard News Service, runs in The Ventura County Star, The Chicago Sun-Times, The Orange County Register, The Detroit News, The Cincinnati Post, The San Diego Union-Tribune and over 150 other newspapers giving him a readership in the millions. In addition, his popular monthly business column has appeared in over 200 other publications. Dr. Goldsmith also hosts a weekly radio show on the most award-winning station in Southern California, KCLU/NPR, with 80,000 listeners in Los Angeles, Ventura and Santa Barbara.

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Best Boomer Towns Columns

10 Ways and Reasons You Can Start Over

Starting Over

Instead of making a resolution, which most of us aren't all that great at keeping, why not look for some areas in your life where you'd like to begin anew? Here are some tools to make starting over a little easier and your new year a little more emotionally fit.

1. Starting over is not the same as recouping from a failure. It is a new beginning. This mindset is helpful because it keeps you from wasting your time being too hard on yourself.

2. Moving through life is like climbing stairs. You go up a level and then you level off. Nothing is ever a straight shot. Have some patience with yourself and with your newfound direction.

3. This new year is also a new decade. It could also be a new life if you approach it in the right way. Sometimes little ideas can turn into big things. Try writing that letter to the editor or, if you need to, make the choice to drink a little less alcohol.

4. Endings are not necessarily bad things. Even if the past year was your best so far, the one ahead might just leave it in the dust. This is also true if it's been your worst year so far, and you've suddenly found yourself unemployed or unattached.

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5. Starting over may feel scary, but it's really a cause for celebration. Think of it as exciting, and many of your anxious feelings will begin to fade.

6. Remember that your future is not governed by your past. No matter what has happened in your life, you can find a way to make things a little better for yourself, and hopefully for those around you as well.

7. Having to start over is different from choosing to start over. For those whose lives are still in chaos because of manmade and natural disasters, starting over is not a choice. Giving support to those in need and being able to accept it when necessary are great qualities.

8. Healthy alternatives to negative lifestyle patterns abound. Take baby steps if you don't feel comfortable making all your changes on January 1. If you can't stop a bad habit, start by cutting back. It's okay to give yourself a little time to moderate or stop something that's hurting you.

9. It's not all about joining a gym to get fit. What about taking a dance class to get in shape and have fun at the same time? Starting over can mean chasing your dreams. We're happiest when we're moving toward a goal.

10. Starting over is about giving yourself a chance at real happiness. You will have to be brave and get good at learning new things, but how bad can that be? At the very worst, you will acquire the skills you need to start on the next project.

The new year is a great time to start over. Remember that once you honestly commit to the changes, you have already begun the process.

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